does your child have a fear of dogs?

​What will they be able to do when they overcome it?
 
Here we’re looking for the compelling outcome.
 
Ask your child to hold out both hands outstretched, palms upward.
Ask them to imagine that on one hand they are holding their fear of dogs and on the other hand they are holding what they will be able to do when they overcome this fear.
They may find it easier to do this with their eyes closed so they can use their imagination to be curious and wonder about each hand.
 
When you look at the hand holding the fear

• What do you see
• What do you hear
• What do you feel
• What do you smell
• What do you taste
• What colour is the fear
• What shape is it?
• As you look at it, if you were to guess at an age when you felt this fear most intently, what age would that be? Is there a memory that comes to mind?
• What does this fear want for you, what is its intention
• What need does the fear have

 
Now look at the hand holding the compelling outcome

• What do you see
• What do you hear
• What do you feel
• What do you smell
• What do you taste
• What colour is the compelling outcome?
• What shape is it?
• As you look at it, let it show you how it wants you to be instead of having the fear?
• What does this fear want for you, what is its intention
• What need does it have

 
Now imagine that the hands could talk to each other. What would one say to the other?
Can the hand holding the compelling outcome reassure the hand holding the fear that it is not needed and that they are brave and confident and able to overcome this fear. It is old fear from the past and not needed anymore?
 
If not ask the next question.
 
What will you have to do (that you don’t want to do) when you overcome this fear?
 
This is what’s called psychological reversal. It happens when subconsciously we hold on to a fear that gets us out of something you don’t actually want to do. So this would include a child holding onto their fear of being alone in the dark in their room at night because they get to have long cuddles with mummy.
 
Explore what is behind this fear. This can be a difficult question to answer so we need to be indirect.
 
Imagine that you could get rid of this fear right now.
What will be good about it?
What would be less good?
 
Shall we think about how we can do something about those things that are less good. Let’s come up with a list of options. Having options gives us some choices and means we can get our needs met. First though we have to know what those needs are.
 
Drawing
 
Let’s draw a picture of this dog?
Note the colours used.
Note the size on the page
 
Invite the child to now change their drawing so it is no longer scary. What colours do they bring in?
 
Tapping
 

1. Thinking about your fear of dogs, where do you feel it in your body? What colour is the fear? What size? What shape?
2. Give it a number out of 10 for how intense it feels with 0 being no intensity and 10 being maximum intensity.
3. Using the karate chop point, tap on the side of the hand saying

“Even though I am scared of dogs (check the wording with the child) I’m a great kid and I’m ok” Do this three times, checking the wording because it may be the barking or jumping up, biting, size, unexpected behaviour, running about etc rather than a general fear of dogs).

1. Now tap through the points on the hands so the child can use tapping wherever they are without drawing attention to themselves, in the street or at a friend’s house for instance) . Use the reminder phrase when they tap, so repeat the child’s actual words around their fear eg. Jumping up, barking, very hairy, it might bite me, it might chase me, I’m scared ……
2. When you’ve done a few rounds of tapping and make sure they breathe so they can release that energy around their fear, check the SUDs level (the score out of 10 that they mentioned at the start)
3. Keep going until you get it down to about a 1 or 2 because some level of fear is possibly sensible around dogs they don’t know. If there’s resistance you can tap on that too. Go back to the karate chop point and say

“Even though I’m afraid of tapping away my fear of dogs completely, I’m a great kid and I’m Ok” again 3 times and keep checking that you have the wording correct according to their map of the world.

1. Tap through the hand points again, using phrases like; I’m scared to let go of this fear, I need this fear to keep me safe, I can’t trust myself without this fear but gradually introduce some element of questioning. Examples might be: why do I need this fear? I’ve been safe before. I don’t need this fear. I’m safe without this fear. It’s safe to let go of this fear. I’m feeling safe. When I’m relaxed around dogs they will be calm too. The dog wants my love, it doesn’t want to hurt me. The dog is just excited, when I get excited I’m a bit jumpy too.
2. Check the SUDs level and now ask the child what colour do they need to bring in to make them feel safe and keep them safe. Whatever colour that is, ask them to breathe that in and take it into their body, fill their heart and let it fill their energy field with a feeling of being safe.

 
Fear is there to protect us but when it prevents us from having fun and doing things we want to do, being with people we want to be with, then it’s time to release it. You can use these methods with other fears of course.
 
Get in touch if you’d like me to help you with this or other fears.
 
 
 
Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. 
Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.
- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet