I had all sorts of ideas about what I wanted to write about today and then I got distracted by a whole load of things I knew I needed to do, my 'to do' list. I love what I do and pride myself on being able to do something active most days in addition to my dog walk. I also make time to read and do yoga but the down-side of all these things is that the work stuff gets squished and then I get stressed because I haven't really allowed enough time for it. Obviously clients get their time, as do my students but it's the other stuff we have to do to keep the business vibrant and visible, social media posts, articles and of course, in my case, writing books. But today, i'm going rogue and writing just about how I'm feeling right now, which is overwhelmed. 

So what does a coach, whose business it is to help clients with their overwhelm, do to ease her own? 

1. My 'go to' is journalling. Many call it 'morning pages' although in truth I tend to write my journal at the end of the day as a 'wind down' from work and 'ease into' the evening or family time. I just sit with a cup of tea or a G&T and I write. I offload all the busy thoughts and once they are on the page, they are gone! 
2. On a really bad day of overwhelm I might have a bubble bath, close my eyes and just 'be'. Then I might take myself to bed for a nap. I 'ok' that on the basis that I am an early bird and am often working at 7am so an afternoon nap seems perfectly acceptable and a good way to get some rest before whatever I'm doing that evening. 
3. I tap. EFT tapping clears the energy pathways, leaving me feeling freed up and in flow again. I start tapping on the karate chop point, saying whatever I'm feeling. I might say "Even though I feel overwhelmed right now, i love and accept myself anyway." I say this three times and focus on where I'm feeling it in the body and the colour. Then I gently tap around the tapping points.
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As I tap on each point, I say a reminder phrase such as "so much to do" , "feel out of control", "tired", "overwhelmed", and so on, depending on what has triggered the feeling. 
I soon begin to feel relaxed and more able to function at my best. 
4. I love music, I find if I put on my favourite radio station 'Magic FM' there's always some great music to dance to, so assuming no-one is around, I sing and dance in my kitchen and this also helps me feel happy and able to cope. 
5. I call my mum! My mum is 93yrs of age and is disabled but she manages well on her own. When I speak to her, I realise that what is overwhelming me is really quite trivial compared to what she has to cope with especially in recent months with lockdown. Even putting on her shoes and getting dressed in the morning takes her ages and she needs to rest afterwards. She is delighted by simple things like the sun shining, someone putting their head round the door to see if she's ok, a new flower out in the garden or an interesting radio programme. She's always happy to speak to me and I, her. Talking about nature, being in nature and thinking of simple pleasures like the kindness of neighbours gets me grounded again to what's really important. 

I'd love to say that yoga and mindfulness help me and indeed they do but when I'm really in full overwhelm, I need the above five things. Once I'm no longer feeling overwhelmed I am happy to spend time doing yoga or pilates, tennis, cycling and all the other lovely exercise activities but I am not an expert in yoga so it isn't relaxing. Perhaps it will be one day! I do mindful meditations and use essential oils before I go to bed and find that a great way to end my day. 

I'd love to hear what you do. 

Very shortly, children will be putting on their school uniform again, new shoes perhaps and they will be heading off to school. Teachers, throughly briefed and prepared will be excitedly waiting for them to bring those empty classrooms to life again with their laughter and chatter. But whilst on the face of it, things will be as close as possible to 'normal', undoubtedly each child and teacher will bring their own niggles, concerns, wobbles. Children inevitably pick up on parents' anxiety and however excited they may seem about their children going back to school, knowing they need to be there for everyone's mental health, there may be some natural loving concerns about how those first days will go. 

Even without Covid, first days back at school can be quite challenging. Who will they be sitting next to? Will their new teacher be kind? Will they make friends? Will the work be hard? 

There will be times during the day, arrival, playground, registration, moving between classrooms, subject changes, break time, lunch time, changing rooms for PE and end of the day, when there is potential for anxious wobbly feeling, butterflies in the tummy, sick feelings, headaches. 

EFT Tapping derives from ancient Chinese medicine which focuses on the body's meridians running throughout the body sending energy through all the organs. When we tap on points on these meridians we clear any blockages which are believed to be caused by negative thoughts and feelings which disrupt the energy flow. It works a bit like acupuncture (only without the needles!) or reflexology. In standard EFT we say aloud what we are feeling as we tap but this would be very noisy in a classroom so we tap silently whilst we focus our minds on those feelings. 

I suggest this is led by the teacher initially but as children get used to how good it feels to get that sense of calm and be in a great learning state, children will start tapping as soon as they sit down at their desks. Children can even initiate it when they sense that their class needs to settle. 

I'm running a series of free training events for teachers, the first of which is Wednesday 2nd September at 7pm. You can sign up on Eventbrite. https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/silent-tapping-technique-for-a-calm-classroom-and-children-ready-to-learn-tickets-118120155565

This process is described in detail in the book, 'Do the Nattylala' by Phil Reed and Annie Moodliar. It is a great book which goes into the background of EFT and tapping, how it works and how Annie used it in her classroom with great success. 

​I want to tell you about EFT because it is now an important ingredient in my NLP Kids Practitioner Training course and in my kids coaching practice. It would not be an exaggeration to say that I use EFT with 90% of my clients – children, teens, mums and dads, couples and singles. Everyone gets the chance to connect to their feelings and clear those that block them from being who they want to be.

EFT developed out of TFT (Thought Field Therapy) which was discovered by Dr Roger Callahan in the 1980s when he was using the Chinese Meridian points with his patients, tapping on the meridian point that connected to their pain or illness. One of his students, Gary Craig further developed it by reducing the tapping points and creating a simple sequence which became known as the Emotional Freedom Technique in 1990. So whilst it is based on ancient Chinese medicine, the protocol is relatively new compared to NLP.
Whilst NLP would not be described as a ‘talking therapy’, like CBT of Counselling, EFT is an ‘energy healing modality’ which means that there is very little talking and what there is, is what we call ‘clean language’ because we use a series of questions to ‘set up’ the process and then just tap on the points and say the client’s words. We don’t even need to know what it is we are tapping with them on!

What I totally love about EFT though is the lack of story, the lack of content and how it goes straight to the pain, the grief, anger, sadness without the back story. These techniques enable us to work content - free (story – free) . There are a number of reasons why I might want to do this.

Clients who are totally into their head, all the chatter, the story, the ‘who did what and when’ and the history of the issue. My first thought is to start where you are right now. Start with the feeling about all of this story. “When you think of all this that you want me to know, what is the feeling, where is it in your body, what’s the colour?”  and we get tapping.

This approach gets you into your subconscious mind connecting with the emotions. Working with mums, we need to get back to your own childhood to help you with your relationship with your children. This means there is a lot of story and the bit I need is buried in your subconscious mind. It will be about what you made something mean when they were too young to understand the story. The shock at the time sent you  into ‘freeze’ and you formed that core belief that you then live out, attracting evidence of its truth throughout your life. Rather than hearing all these examples, it is much more efficient and respectful of your time, I feel, to get straight into the feeling and tap on those negative feelings to clear them.

It would be great to say that we can get rid of negative core beliefs in one session of tapping and we often can when we work with children as their belief was imprinted quite recently but for adults it will take more sessions, more time and many more visits to those early memories and the various different aspects of them.

Mums and dads and teachers are people of influence. What we say, matters. Sadly and completely unintentionally we say something in a moment of anger which may be completely unrelated to our child but because of the influence we have, they create in that moment a UDIN.
A UDIN is
Unexpected
Dramatic
Isolating
For which we have - No strategy

When clients are in emotional overwhelm. You just don’t know what you feel any more. There are so many emotions and you can’t see a way forward. You will be tearful and tired, feeling like you can barely function. By using this approach, I can  give you a tool you can use to manage the emotions as they come up.

Overwhelm happens more often with mums who come planning to address one issue and then find loads of other issues tumbling into the story, from childhood, perhaps their mum’s childhood or relationship issues they hadn’t planned to bring up.

When you need to work content-free EFT really comes into its own. This might be because a child or client doesn’t want to tell you the story itself. We can tap on
‘that thing that happened’
‘what I did’
‘what I said’
‘the thing I’m worried about’

What happens in an EFT session with me?
The first thing we do in any EFT session is to tune in.

1. Tuning in
Drink some water. Breathe. Put your hand on your heart and close your eyes.
Breathe in for 6 and out for 6. Imagine you’re breathing into your heart.
Do this three times.

Now thinking about the situation or issue on your mind,

• What’s the feeling or emotion?
• Where is it in the body?
• What colour is it?
• What shape, texture, size? (for size you can ask is it the size of a grape or a melon or….)
• Is it static or moving?
• Is there anything else about it?

SUDS level – on a scale of 0-10 where zero is nothing and 10 is very intense, what number would you give this feeling?

2.  Set up
We start by tapping on the karate chop point. This is the fleshy part of the hand at the side, between the base of your little finger and your wrist.
“Even though I feel this (name of emotion) in my (part of the body) I love and accept myself anyway

3. Tapping
So tapping with the flat of your hand you use a reminder phrase. or Reminder phrase as you tap.
This (colour) (emotion)
All this (emotion)
(colour) (emotion)
Tapping points
Crown
Side of eye
Other side of eye
Under eye
Under nose
Under mouth
Collar bone
Side

I usually do two rounds of tapping through the body points and then move through the hand points because most of my clients are children and teens so they need to use these at school and around their friends as they can’t suddenly start tapping their head!
Hand points are
Across the wrist
Side of thumb
Side of index finger
Side of middle finger
Side of ring finger
Side of little finger

4. FinishingWe aim to get down to a SUDs level of zero but I sometimes stop at a 1 or 2 if you want me to. This is partly because children often want to keep a bit of anxiety in exam situations so they are not so laid back they run out of time! Some want to leave it at 1 or 2 because that feels enough of a shift to be getting along with right now, or they are just bored and want to do another activity!

I always go back through the process with them so they know what to do when they are on their own. Sometimes I send them a reminder video as well.
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So if you are considering having an EFT session with me, you know what will happen and I hope you will book one soon. Remember my first 20 minute consultations are free.